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Old 09-13-2017, 05:47 PM   #1
NYECOGunsmith
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Default Wednesday's Chuckles

*The kind of letter you never want to get from your kid who is away from camp, but it is the kind any of my brothers or myself would have written just to get a rise out of the folks. If we had ever gone to camp that is. Growing up on a cattle ranch, every day was a day at camp for us!

Best Camp Letter

*
*Dear Mom,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

*Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.* Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a super bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and**buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.

Love Johnny*
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Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean someone ISN'T OUT TO GET YOU!
Just because a complaint was never filed doesn't mean a defective parachute was never made.
I've been to three world's fairs, two rodeos and a goat roping contest, but I've never seen the likes of the stuff that goes on around here before!
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Old 09-14-2017, 04:46 AM   #2
Tophog
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Default

Wait a minute, it stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing.
Playing baseball, gee that's better,
Muddah, Faddah, kindly disregard this letter!
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USN gunner, '76-'80.

"Government is not the solution to our problem. Government IS the problem!" Ronald Reagan

"We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." Abraham Lincoln

"As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron."
(H.L. Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920)

ERROR 406: file corrupt: config.america -- reboot constitution? (Y/N)
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Old 09-14-2017, 06:47 AM   #3
NYECOGunsmith
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tophog View Post
Wait a minute, it stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing.
Playing baseball, gee that's better,
Muddah, Faddah, kindly disregard this letter!
Alan Sherman lives!
__________________
Steve


Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean someone ISN'T OUT TO GET YOU!
Just because a complaint was never filed doesn't mean a defective parachute was never made.
I've been to three world's fairs, two rodeos and a goat roping contest, but I've never seen the likes of the stuff that goes on around here before!
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Old 09-14-2017, 07:35 AM   #4
Tophog
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYECOGunsmith View Post
Alan Sherman lives!
Yep!
__________________


USN gunner, '76-'80.

"Government is not the solution to our problem. Government IS the problem!" Ronald Reagan

"We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." Abraham Lincoln

"As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron."
(H.L. Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920)

ERROR 406: file corrupt: config.america -- reboot constitution? (Y/N)
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